| shiyat |
[Dec. 15th, 2006|12:27 am] |
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I managed to stab myself right on the fingertip with a flathead screwdriver today. Yowch. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 13th, 2006|08:17 pm] |
I redid my myspace with a shitload of new pictures, a new mp3, and a new video. Go check it out and leave me some feedback.
www.myspace.com |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 4th, 2006|01:17 am] |
I have some new music up, please listen to it and comment with some feedback.
www.myspace.com/mattroberts |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 2nd, 2006|07:15 am] |
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www.myspace.com/mattroberts |
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| So long, Florida. |
[Nov. 12th, 2005|10:59 pm] |
I leave for California in two days. To my friends: I feel that I can express these bittersweet sentiments to you much more adequately with images than words.
Farewell! |
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| SHAZAM |
[Oct. 20th, 2005|02:56 pm] |
 |
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| Good times |
[Sep. 8th, 2005|12:09 am] |
BUTCHYJENE666: FUCK YOU YOU COCKSOCKING WILDEBESST WITH THREE TOES!! YOU NEED TO GO TO HELL AND GO TO HELL GOOD!! OR I'LL KICK YOU IN A CUNT AND MAKE YOU SCREAM HARD!! YOU FUCKING FAGOT!!! DEATH AWAITS YOU!!! SATAN RULES!!!!
RazorSuppository: is this chris barnes?
BUTCHYJENE666: 2003-12-12 12:48 (link)
HAHAHHAAHAHAHAA YOU ARE A HOMO BUT I AM A HOMO TOO IT IS OKAY WE CAN BE HOMO FRIENDS IF YOU WANT OR WE CAN WORSHIP SATAN I HAVE A HACKYSACK THAT HAS JESUS ON IT AND I KICK IT AROND BECAUSE JESUS IS A PIECE OF SHIT
RazorSuppository: do you need something brah?
BUTCHYJENE666: GO SUCK ON DONKEY COCK BECAUSE I AM BETTER THAN YOU YOU ASSWIPE YOU HAVE TO PUT OTHER PEOPLE DOWN TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER WELL YOU CAN BURN IN HEAVEN BECAUSE YOU ARE A DICKSMOKING MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU LIKE TO SUCK TITTIES FROM LITTLE GIRLS WHEN YOU RAPE THEM IN HOTEL ROOMS!
RazorSuppository: stop man the tears are a'flowin
RazorSuppository: and its just so fucking personal because i dont know you
RazorSuppository: i dont know what to do with myself
BUTCHYJENE666: THEREI S NOTHING RONG WITH BLACK PEOPEL!
STOP HATING PEOPLE BECUASE OF THERE SKIN!! THEY CANT HELP IT! IT IS LIKE ME BEING A DIKE!
RazorSuppository: *BUTCHYJENE666: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BLACK PEOPLE!
STOP HATING PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THEIR SKIN!! THEY CAN'T HELP IT! IT IS LIKE ME BEING A DIKE!
BUTCHYJENE666: NO YOU GO BACK TO SCHOOL
COME BY MY CHURCH SOME NIGHT
RazorSuppository: i already graduated, i dont think i saw you there
BUTCHYJENE666: CHUGS BUKAKKE PROTEIN SHAKE AND EATS A FEW COCKROACH TURNOVERS
RazorSuppository: man you should write speeches for the president
BUTCHYJENE666: SHITS ON FLOOR AND WIPES ASS WITH THE AMERICAN FLAG
I STOLE A TON OF LIGHTERS SO I CAN GO FLAG BURNING TONIGHT! IM FAT BECAUSE OF THIS COUNTRY.
RazorSuppository: did you eat the country?
BUTCHYJENE666: DONT YOU EVER INSULT THE MOTHERFUCKING MULLET OF DEATH MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!
RazorSuppository: did you hit your head real hard when you were little or something?
BUTCHYJENE666: I HATE PEOPLE WHO CANT EVEN FUCKING SPELL!! JUST BECAUSE YOUR SPELLING SUCKED SO BAD IN THE FIRST SENTENCE I JUST PULLED DOWN MY PANTS AND TOOK A SHIT ON WHAT YOU JUST SAID
RazorSuppository: or maybe your mother liked to smoke a bunch of crack and do bellyflops on the pavement
RazorSuppository: what exactly was misspelled?
RazorSuppository: you there?
BUTCHYJENE666: I HAVE CADARACTS AND AM LEGALLY BLIND AND PLUS I USE WEB TV SO I CAN SEE THAT WELL EVER FUCKING THINK OF THAT YOU FUCKING PUSSY?????
GUZZLES SOME GOLDSCHLAGER AND SPITS OUT SOME CHEWING TOBACCO ON THAT COMMENT YOU JUST MADE
RazorSuppository: are you legally retarded too?
RazorSuppository: ?
BUTCHYJENE666: HI MY NAME IS BUTCHY JENE AND I AM A GAY MUSICIAN. I JUST FORMED MY OWN SATANIC BLACK METAL BAND CALLED BUTCHYJENE AND THE SATANAHOLICS A MONTH AGO
RazorSuppository: what about the autistic jene experience?
BUTCHYJENE666: YOUR EXISTENSE IS HYPOCRITICAL!!
SCRATCHES SCALP AND BITES FINGERNAILS
RazorSuppository: did you get that line from a star trek episode?
BUTCHYJENE666: FUCK GOD!! SATAN LIVES AND SPEAKS THROUGH ME VICARIOUSLY!!
BURN IN HEAVEN
SCRATCHES BUTTHOLE WITH FINGERS THEN LICKS THEM
RazorSuppository: this shit as about as funny as a case of the drips
BUTCHYJENE666: FUCK YOU RODMUNCH!!
GRUNTS AND FARTS THEN EXITS THE DOOR CHUGGING JAGGERMIESTER WITH A CRACKPIPE IN MOUTH
RazorSuppository: if you were fat and middle aged you could probably be a roadie for gwar
BUTCHYJENE666: IM 32
BUTCHYJENE666: WWW.MYSPACE.COM/BUTCHYJENE666
RazorSuppository: have you ever had a stroke?
BUTCHYJENE666: YES
RazorSuppository: myspace says youre 31
BUTCHYJENE666: I JUST TURNED 32
RazorSuppository: really?
RazorSuppository: i assumed you didnt have that myspace account for very long
RazorSuppository: youve got one friend
BUTCHYJENE666: MY PUSSY IS SO WET RIGHT NOW!!!
RazorSuppository: thats nice
RazorSuppository: well
RazorSuppository: it was nice meeting you
BUTCHYJENE666 signed off at 12:08:23 AM. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 20th, 2005|01:10 am] |
Carpathia03: steven hawking is god
RazorSuppository: lol yeah
RazorSuppository: and hilariously handicapped
Carpathia03: yea, but who cares..hes a fuckin genius
RazorSuppository: yeah he is
RazorSuppository: well
RazorSuppository: there are different areas of genius man
Carpathia03: i think being jewish is the worse handicap
RazorSuppository: lol
RazorSuppository: i love you man |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 2nd, 2005|10:59 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Jimi Hendrix - Red House | ] |
Why is lager so fucking delicious? |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2005|10:46 pm] |
Guys, I've been diagnosed with a terminal illness. |
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| Good times indeed |
[Jan. 3rd, 2005|08:44 pm] |
Assignment:
An "exemplum is a tale with a moral point. In Chaucer's The Pardoner's Tale, the pardoner's tale of the three theives
is an exemplum because it makes a point about greed. Write an exemplum of your own. You may wish to create your own
moral message or use one that is familiar to you. Title your story with the moral.
What I handed in:
Never smoke pcp while wearing a yellow leotard on a Tuesday.
In the blistering Manhattan summer heat, two New York natives, Leroy Jenkins and Alfonso "giblet-eatin'" Charles II braved the swelteringly unbearable climate in the shade of an Arby's dumpster. "I sho is wishin wes had sumn to do, Missa Jenkins", stated Alfonso "giblet-eatin'" Charles II. "Yes, five locksmiths will do a fine job of counteracting the subliminal messages
of facist propaganda laden in modern yodeling music!", exclaimed Leroy. Wondering how they were suddenly transported to a parallel universe, seemingly absent of time and space, the two exchanged puzzled glances. Pulling a large bag of pcp from his urine-yellow leotard, Mr. Alfonso "giblet-eatin'" Charles II began to smoke the toxic and illicit substance."Oh no, yessaday was Monday!", cried Leroy Jenkins in a tone of sheer terror. They were then sucked into a giant blackhole and devoured by antimatter. The end. |
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| I found this gem in metalcunts |
[Dec. 14th, 2004|07:58 pm] |
This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story with different styles of metalheads as knights.
POWER METAL:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the
dragon,
saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks
her.
HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins,
flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because
of all the dancing). Then all leave....without the princess.
VIKING METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty
axe,
skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her
belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills
her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in
front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her blood
in
a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the
dragon.
GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front
of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead
body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the
carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last
time.
DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he
could
never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon
eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad
story.
PROGRESIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes.
The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the
princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes
he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes
looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist.
GLAM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and
lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the
castle in a beautiful pink color.
NU METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight
the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch
fire. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2004|01:18 pm] |
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While doing a slang dictionary project for English class, I discovered that "japs eye" is British slang for the urethral opening. Good times, indeed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 28th, 2004|12:44 am] |
Milktheinsider: Man, I love when people do new things with metal.
RazorSuppository: yeah
RazorSuppository: i love when your grandma licks my prostate |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 24th, 2004|01:27 am] |
RazorSuppository: well, dont hand people flyers
robbie fvct: it's my job
RazorSuppository: what if my job was to have sex with your grandmother?
RazorSuppository: would that not offend you?
robbie fvct: if it was a serious job, perhaps
RazorSuppository: i dunno man, 20 bucks a lay is pretty serious to me
RazorSuppository: haha that should go in the lj brah
RazorSuppository: anyway
RazorSuppository: learn to profile who you should and shouldnt solicit to
RazorSuppository: giant bald guys = bad idea
RazorSuppository: guys in womens pants = good idea
robbie fvct: what about giant bald guys in womens' pants?
RazorSuppository: that means run before you get cornholed
robbie fvct: hahaha!
RazorSuppository: i am the master
robbie fvct: that's lj worthy
RazorSuppository: yeah all of this will do |
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